Karl Marx, unsurprisingly, was mostly right about the Communist Revolution when he wrote in The German Ideology:

In communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening, criticise after dinner, just as I have a mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, shepherd or critic.

In fact, this is how our comrades in communist society do comport themselves: hunting, fishing, and so on. Marx did not get things quite right, however, for he failed to note two modes of consumption which would continue even into communist society: the drinking of tea, and the excessive imbibing of vodka at dinnertime (leaving our comrades in a drunken stupor, unable to do much else after dinner than to gurgle to themselves quietly in the corner of their dachas).

And not every species-being has chosen for herself the particular pattern of activity that Marx suggested. In fact, on this particular day in communist society, Vladimir and four of his comrades have all engaged in the proper communist activities (hunting, fishing, shepherding, criticizing, and drinking tea), but not all at the times of day that one might have expected from reading The German Ideology. Each species-being chose to perform each activity either in the morning, the afternoon, or the evening. From the information provided to the Office of the Five Year Plan, you must determine when during the day each species-being chose to perform each kind of activity.

1. No more than two species-beings performed the same activity during the same period of the day, and no two species-beings performed the same number of activities in all three periods of the day. [That is to say, there may be two species-beings who both performed two activities in the afternoon, but they will have performed different numbers of activities in the morning and evening]

2. Comrade Rosa criticized later in the day than Comrade Karl reared cattle, but earlier in the day than Comrade Leon fished.

3. Comrade Che drank tea earlier in the day than Comrade Rosa hunted. Comrade Rosa did not criticize as late in the day as Comrade Leon did.

4. Comrade Leon reared cattle later in the day than Comrade Karl fished, while he hunted earlier than Comrade Che reared cattle. Comrade Leon hunted later than at least one other species-being.

5. Only one species-being fished in the morning. Comrade Karl's tea-drinking took place earlier in the day than Comrade Rosa fished.

6. Comrade Rosa, who reared cattle later in the day than Comrade Che fished, drank tea earlier than Comrade Karl did but criticized at the same time of day as Comrade Karl did. Comrade Che did not hunt in the morning.

7. Comrade Karl did at least one activity in the evening, and Comrade Leon performed at least one activity in the morning. Comrade Vladimir did not perform exactly three activities in the morning.


Avanti Popolo!

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