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Trinity Term 1994

No passeran!


The Turtle has been a little hoarse lately, but is once more booming out the joys of summer. This term it contains a record number of articles, and is as long as the titanic third issue. One hundred copies of the last Turtle vanished in a few days which is an encouraging sign that there is still unsatisfied demand. We'd like to have another issue out at the start of Michaelmas, so please keep articles rolling in over the holiday. We know where you live.

Spring and summer are the seasons when the seeds of revolution germinate. This year the cracks in the capitalist order are at their widest for some time - the crowds are swelling in number and confidence, soon to repulse the mercenaries of the ruling class. History's tides wash in our favour, but all is not yet going our way. The people bloodied John Major's nose in two elections, but unfortunately John Smith died in his bath. The masses stormed Pembroke and sang their way down Cornmarket, but then voted to be apathetic. Oxford's citizens sneered at the Boston Tea Party and the Greens, but alas decided that John Tanner's facial hair should not be represented in Strasbourg. The Labour Club has broken with tradition and started to advertise its meetings, and even the Fabians have been reasonably popular. So it has been a mixed term.

We owe debts of gratitude to all those that kept the faith throughout the Turtle's silence. Seven new writers feature in this issue, so especially friendly hugs and kisses go to Binnie, Brendan, Gwen, Jo, Kate, Keith! and Palash. This paragraph traditionally ends with thanks to Chris for Stakhanovite support, but this time he has done most of the work and appears at the bottom of the page, so he doesn't deserve a special mention.

This issue was so unremittingly unfunny that the editors have had to bury gratuitous references to North American ruminants in it. Please will everyone try harder next time. John Armstrong is unwell.

May your shells grow hard and horny, and give you chelonian pleasure,

Ben Fender & Chris Brooke



Criminal Injustice (Brendan Larvor)

Palash Liberates An Entire Continent (Palash Davé)

Sex and Punishment (Binnie Goh)

The Impotence of Being Earnest (Alex Grant)

Why I Say, "Occupy"! (Kate Collier)

The True Believer's Prayer (Keith Gottschalt)

Fisting Up The Arse of Repression (James Thompson)

John Major is My Shepherd (Joe Guinan)

Barbarians at the Gate (Gwen Tresidder)

Mother, There's a Nazi Under My Bed (Ben Dalby)

Get Your Frocks Off (Josephine Crawley)

Song: The Internationale (Eugène Pottier)

The Culture of Contentment (Jon Wilson)

Fixing Italian Politics (Chris Brooke)






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